


Brink Of Delusion

by Zerrat



Category: Dissidia: Final Fantasy
Genre: Community: let_it_loose_df, Dream Sex, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mind Control, Multi, Non Consensual, Oral Sex, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-19
Updated: 2011-04-19
Packaged: 2017-10-18 08:58:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/187176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zerrat/pseuds/Zerrat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reflections of truth, insidious lies. Where exactly do you draw the line between dreams and reality, when you have no memory of what really was? Tidus will follow his sorceress. He's her knight, and that's what he promised. But when he sleeps, he's somewhere else entirely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brink Of Delusion

**Author's Note:**

> Probably as close to PWP (porn without plot) as I get, Chaos!Tidus, threesome (F/M/M). There is something incredibly fucked up about this piece, specifically the Ultimecia/Tidus aspect, which involves mind control (and thus non-con) and draws a parallel between her relationships with Seifer and Tidus. It’s a weird sort of hurt/comfort fic.

The silken sheets were hot and damp as Tidus twisted and turned in the four-poster bed, half-remembered dreams flitting through his mind as he stared at the gilded roof. He’d never slept well in Castle Pandaemonium, though he’d always tried to shrug it off to the Emperor’s general creepiness and the stuffiness of the whole place.

But it wasn’t the Emperor’s sly looks, veiled threats or complete lack of shame. It wasn’t even these stupid silk sheets, or the way the moonlight reflected off every surface of this huge castle. It was the dreams.

Tidus blew out a long breath, folding his arms behind his head and looking up at the ceiling, just wishing that he could sleep peacefully this night. Dreams, nightmares… there were times that he couldn’t really tell the difference between sleep and awareness. This castle, no matter how garish and filled with every imaginable comfort, just made things _worse._ It was probably all the violence it had seen, all the blood that had been shed, the lives that Tidus had played a role in ruining…

But dreams weren’t meant to feel so real.

Tidus stifled a yawn as he let his eyes drift shut. He knew that Ultimecia would want to move out pretty early tomorrow, so he’d have to be rested and fresh or… the scratches over his bare chest stung a little then. Ultimecia was tougher than the assistant coach in the premiership season, and _that_ was saying something. She barely had anything good to say. He wasn’t even sure why he’d decided to be her knight, only that here he was, and there was to be no arguments over it.

As he finally felt himself drift towards sleep, Tidus was just glad that it was Ultimecia who held his bond, rather than the Emperor.

###

He was certain that he hadn’t seen this beach before, Tidus noted with a frown, shielding his eyes as he scanned his immediate area before him. The sand might have been white, once, but it was strewn with rubble and wreckage, both washed up from the filthy ocean and fallen from the crumbling ruins overhead. The grey ocean before him seemed to stretch out forever, hazy with a strange combination of smoke and mist. Broken fishing nets littered the far end of the beach, and wild tangles of dead scrub blocked all exits from the shore.

The beach that felt dead and hollow, stripped of the riot of colours that it had once been.

Tidus shivered, feeling a cold wind set in. That confused him – he didn’t know _this_ beach from any other.

 _It was Besaid,_ something whispers, a voice from within, one that Tidus couldn’t recognize.

He ignored it, choosing to pick his way along the debris-strewn beach, stepping carefully over broken nets and shattered remains of canoes. It sure wasn’t easy going, with all the old ruins in this place, the death traps just waiting to ensnare him. He’d spotted a run-down hut at the very end of this dead beach, badly constructed with weathered wood and dead palm fronds. Best to start there.

The wind had picked up by the time that Tidus had finally reached the door to the shabby little hut, cold enough to raise goosebumps on his exposed torso. Maybe it’d be warmer in there, no matter how badly built it might be. Just a little time out of this wind… He shivered again, reaching out one gauntleted hand to push against the door. It resisted his touch, as if locked from his access.

Tidus shot a look back up the dead beach, hesitating. Was it starting to storm, already? He pushed against the thin, weathered door again, this time pressing both of his hands to the surface. He felt it give a little, as if reluctant. Tidus smirked, but it felt like his face was going to break off from the numbing wind. One last push would do it. One last push, and then he’d be able to get a little warmer.

The lock shattered under his next shove, weakened wood splintering around his hands as he forced his way through and barrelled into the hut. He grinned at his small success, slamming a fist into his palm. It’d take a bigger door than _that_ to get _him_ down.

His grin faded as he gave the interior of the shack a once over. The inside was sparsely decorated, the only thing inside seeming to be a small, rickety bed shoved up against the far wall. The distasteful environment was made complete with a thin mattress and what looked to be an old, poorly-woven blanket. There were large gaps in the boarding, where the cold wind still howled through. This place was a shithole – back in Zanarkand, this place would have been bulldozed long ago.

Feeling a little put out, Tidus rubbed a hand through his shaggy, blond hair. He’d just have to make do, wouldn’t he?

He felt something brush against his bare calf, and with a jump he looked down. When had those clothes gotten there? Purple, blues, greys, yellows – not to mention no small amount of weaponry and armour. He frowned. Wait a moment –

Tensing, Tidus looked back to the bed again.

There had _not_ been two people in that bed, when he’d looked at it before. Feeling the first echoes of alarm, he took in their starkly naked forms, only barely concealed under that old blanket. A man, his hair a shock of scruffy silver, his skin well tanned from a lifetime of working with both farm equipment and weapons. The man was heavily muscled but lean, and looked as if he could take even the Old Man in a fist fight. There was a… _grounded_ feel to him, once that Tidus couldn’t really describe.

The other was a woman, dark-haired and lithe. Her pale skin was flawless where the man’s had been scarred, and she was supple and flexible where the man was built like a blitz defender. In the pale light filtering in through the gaps in the boarding, she seemed almost ethereal, as if when he looked away, she’d be gone again.

 _What… what is this?_

The sight of the two strangers made Tidus’ breath catch in his throat, made his entire body freeze. He hovered, halfway between running headlong into the tropical storm and summoning his sword, Brotherhood, to run them through to _stop_ the riot of alien feelings they’d brought bubbling to the surface. Who were they? His hand clenched into a fist, a futile effort to stop himself shaking.

Black feathers shifted in his mind, clouding his thoughts. Chaos, he shouldn’t even _be_ here, he realized in alarm. Ultimecia, she’d be furious with him. She always said that he couldn’t go wandering off without her, she’d make him pay dearly for this one-

Tidus tried to turn and flee, but something kept him rooted to the spot. He was still staring at the two strangers when they finally noticed his presence. They didn’t seemed disturbed by the fact that he’d accidentally barged in on them in the wake of their lovemaking. Hell, from the recognition in their eyes, they seemed to know him. How could they, when he couldn’t remember _them?_

He’d never seen them deal with Ultimecia, or any others of Chaos’ warriors, so that meant that… He gritted his teeth. Warriors of Cosmos, then. He couldn’t place their names, though. With that realization, something in his chest caught. He pressed his gauntleted hand to his forehead, pressing hard enough to feel the armour bite into his skin.

 _Why can’t I remember?_

The woman whispered something to the man, and then she stood. Her movements were so smooth and graceful. Tidus tried desperately to avert his eyes from her naked body, to remind himself of Ultimecia and her agonizing beauty, but he was unable to tear his eyes from this new woman. A deep ache in his chest made it hard to swallow – the dark-haired woman was so close now that he could smell the vanilla scent in her hair.

Her hands stroked his cheek, wove slowly through his shaggy, blond hair – they were so warm, so gentle, so soothing. He looked down at her, his throat constricted painfully, his heart pounding hard. She was an angel, and those stifling black feathers in his mind seemed to stir again. She was smiling.

“Who are you?” he asked her, his voice low. Her eyes widened a little in surprise. Her eyes were oddly coloured, he realized vaguely as he watched her – one was blue, the other was green.

“Don’t you remember?” The man’s voice was concerned, and Tidus jumps. When had the man moved? The hand that reached forwards to grip Tidus’ shoulder was strong, but no less gentle than the woman’s touch. The man’s palms were calloused, his fingers long, fingernails bitten short. There was something thrilling about the man’s imperfections and bluntness.

The light plays along the man’s well-defined muscles, down his abdomen. Tidus tried not to let his eyes follow the slope of the man’s hips down, and instead met the man’s eyes. They were a wonderful shade of brown, but it was the emotions reflected in them that made Tidus’ heart flutter. They were full of sadness and… anger. There was passion in this man, a wildfire.

The man shared a look with the woman, and something seemed to pass between them.

“Firion.” The woman’s voice was low, her tone almost rebuking. The man – _Firion_ – sighed, clenching his fist, while the other held onto Tidus as if he never wished to let go.

“He really doesn’t remember.” Firion’s voice almost sounds bitter. “That _bastard,_ he’s at it again. Why must he always go after those I hold dear?”

“Tidus…” the woman whispers, her lips so close to his ear now. He shivered. Something in his mind was ordering him to move, that this was wrong, all wrong, _Ultimecia,_ but the feel of her warm breath on his cold skin is overwhelming.

The man, Firion, suddenly smiles. The expression softens his face, makes Tidus feel a little less frozen inside.

“You’re absolutely right, Yuna. We’ll just have to help him remember.”

Tidus tensed. _Remember what?_

He didn’t think to pull away as she – _Yuna_ – tilted her chin up and pressed her lips to his. The sensation was dizzying at first, and Tidus nearly staggered. Her lips were so gentle, but demanded more of his mouth, biting his lower lip softly to beg access to his tongue. The mix of sweetness and sin was intoxicating.

He let his eyelids slide shut, absorbed entirely in the sensation. It seemed as though Yuna had had experience – she seemed to know exactly what she wanted from Tidus, and she had the steel in her to fight for it.

Tidus groaned into the kiss, compulsively wrapping his arms about her waist as her fingers caressed his cheeks, ran along the angle of his jaw. He could feel her pressed up against his chest now, but he could feel warmth behind him now, too. Tidus cracked an eye open, watching the way Firion’s arms were locked about his hips, savouring the hard planes of Firion’s chest as Tidus rocked himself up against it, almost despite himself.

Firion was solid where Yuna was supple, and while his hands on Tidus’ skin were rougher, stronger, they felt a little less certain than Yuna’s. His mind jerked back to the present as Yuna’s lips left his own, his eyelids fluttering as she kissed a trail of light kisses from the corner of his mouth and down his throat.

Tidus wasn’t entirely sure he was ready to stop just yet, his lips still craving sensation – one of Firion’s hands left Tidus’ hips, long fingers brushing through the blond’s bangs. Tidus was leaning back before Firion even began to tilt his chin, letting Firion claim his lips, eager to soothe the aching need in his chest.

Once again, Firion’s lips felt less skilled when compared to Yuna’s, but the intensity of the feelings behind the kiss? It almost staggered Tidus, and he couldn’t help but murmur in appreciation.

There was an endearing naivety about this Firion, and it contrasted powerfully with the man’s passion. It was so very different to Yuna’s kiss, but no less exhilarating. Tidus could feel her tongue tracing lazily circles in the crook of his neck, her palms pressed against his torso, feeling his heart thump wildly with every touch.

A soft bump against his knees surprised him, and Tidus broke Firion’s kiss hastily and looked down. The bed. So all this time, Yuna had been leading them slowly towards it? Tidus could have kicked himself. Hell, he’d been so wrapped up in them – the odd tightness in his throat – that he’d not even noticed the slow and steady tug.

Tidus looked down at Yuna, his eyes half-lidded in hazy pleasure as Firion kissed his shoulder. She was biting her lower lip softly, those oddly-coloured eyes fixed upon his own as she reached forwards and pulled him down into another scorching kiss.

He couldn’t stop this, Tidus realized. And he didn’t _want_ to. The only part of him that screamed to stop, railed against these warriors of Cosmos, was a part of him that didn’t even seem familiar before. It was like it wasn’t even _him,_ because he knew with ever fibre of his being that he wanted… _this._

It didn’t really matter that Tidus’ mind could not recall them, these two very different people that seemed to know every inch of his body, his every reaction. His body _knew_ them, and that was enough for him.

Tidus turned halfway to Firion, feeling a small smile begin to form on his lips. The other man simply nodded, crossing his arms over his chest and meeting Yuna’s eyes.

Yuna was still behind him, as Firion pushed them down to the bed. Tidus was almost afraid that he’d injure her as they fell, but his fears were unfounded as she moved to accommodate him. The bed was hard, the old blankets itchy, but Yuna’s presence behind him was soft and warm. Yuna’s bare legs wrapped about his waist, her body pressed close and tight against him.

Her slightly-parted lips grazed sensually over his collarbone, her quick tongue trailing and tasting the spots that made Tidus twitch and pant, her hands exploring the old scars and honed muscles of his stomach. Firion was above Tidus now, capturing the groaning blitzer’s lips with his own, his muscular back a barrier to the hut’s closed door. Tidus closed his eyes. There was something vaguely reassuring about that.

Tidus shivered a little, black feathers filling his mind’s eye. Firion seemed to sense his lover’s sudden hesitation, because his hands moved lower, reaching around to grasp Tidus’ ass through the leather blitz-shorts. Tidus arched his back and gasped, thrusting his tongue more deeply into Firion’s mouth. The other man’s reaction – a moment of shocked hesitation before returning the favour in kind – made half-memories stir in the back of his mind, somewhere beyond the haze.

It had been like that the first time with Firion, hadn’t it?

Breaking the kiss again, Firion trailed his lips down Tidus’ neck and chest, his calloused hands rubbing over toned and tanned muscle gained over years of blitz training.

His blue blitz shoes had been tossed unceremoniously off to the side, Tidus realized as he tipped his head back. The sensual scrape of Firion’s lips, teeth and fingers on his biceps was mind-blowing, and he arched slightly as Yuna’s smaller, smoother hands brushed places on his spine that made him shudder, made his breath catch deep in his throat.

Firion was fumbling with the buckles on his blitz gauntlet now, a pattern that Tidus half recalled from before – Firion stroked the tanned skin as it was slowly bared, kissing it, his tongue tracing wet designs as finally Tidus’ gloves were stripped off. He jerked as Yuna’s hands eased lower, running down his chest, down his sides and trailing across his stomach, cupping him through his loosened blitz shorts. He could feel her breath against his ear, coming hard between hasty kisses.

Tidus couldn’t remember the last time he’d been touched like this, with such care and hunger. It made him ache, both in his chest and between his legs.

He was already hard by the time Firion and Yuna eased his leather shorts off, removed the red compression bandages that wrapped his thighs. Yuna, still a warm presence at his back, stroked the inside of Tidus’ thighs, her fingers tracings a tantalizing pattern and ghosting so close to where he ached for release. He bit back a groan as her fingers trailed down his sides, across his hips, and over his ass.

At the same time, Firion’s lips worked their way lazily down Tidus’ heaving chest and abdomen, tasting the salty dampness of the blitzer’s skin, slowly going lower, lower –

Yuna, her fingers again laced in his hair, gently tugged his head back to claim his panting mouth, sweet and demanding, even as Firion’s lips claimed Tidus’ cock. Tidus felt his entire body shudder at the sensation, the wet warmth of Firion’s lips and tongue as they worked over the length of his cock. Between the kiss, the blowjob – it was so gentle, so mind-blowingly sensual - so alien from normal, where pleasure must be earned through blood and pain and humiliation.

As if feeling his sudden distress, Yuna’s free hand caught one of Tidus’ own, rubbing soothing circles on the back of his knuckles, alternating between wanton kisses and whispering sweet nothings in his ear. His other hand buried itself into Firion’s mop of silver hair, clenching and unclenching as the man brought him agonizingly close to the edge.

Tidus fought to stay back from the brink, feeling desperate even as he gasped and writhed in pleasure. Pleasure only ever came with pain, but what was worse, _far_ worse, was the fear that when he came, the love would vanish, leaving him empty once more.

He didn’t think he could stand that. To just go back to his duties for Chaos, for Ultimecia –

Tidus climaxed hard, crying out desperately into Yuna’s mouth, thrusting his hips, hard, against Firion’s chest as he spent his lot. He was shaking as he watched, almost afraid, as Firion looked up. There was a dull buzz in his ears as he felt Yuna kiss his cheek, telling him something in her soft voice. What did she say? That it was _okay?_ Firion just smiled, wiping his lips before leaning forwards and pressing his lips to Tidus’ forehead.

No pain. No agony. No humiliation. The affection was lasting so much longer than the climax, Tidus realized. The thought warmed him.

As Firion eased himself down next to Tidus, as Yuna untangled herself from his body, Tidus smiled. They really weren’t going anywhere, were they?

###

In Castle Pandaemonium, Tidus shot upright with a strangled gasp, clutching his head as if it were about to explode. The pressure, the pain was going to kill him, he was certain of it this time.

“Nobara, Yuna,” Tidus heard himself gasp out as he ripped the sweat-soaked silk sheets from his heated body. He had to get out of here, he had to _run_ while he still had the chance. Naked, he stumbled from the bed and into the gilded hallway, his breath sobbing in his throat as he fled.

Just like that, _she_ was before him, her golden eyes cold, calculating. Disapproving. Tidus staggered, groaning and reaching blindly out for Brotherhood. Clawed hands, rough and unforgiving, forced him down to his knees, leaving bloody rents in his flesh as sharp fingers tilted his chin up. He could feel blood trickling lazily down his chest and cheeks now.

She was his sorceress, she was Ultimecia. Tidus was her knight, he was her protector, if he wouldn’t protect her then who _would -_

 _He was a guardian, and he would protect his summoner. He was a comrade, a brother-in-arms, and he watched his friend’s back no matter what._

Tidus roared, ripping himself from her hold. Just as quickly, she was on him again.

Dark feathers fell like rain, deep in his mind. He opens his eyes with a jump, searching the hallways in confusion. His heart was pounding, his breath coming hard, as if he’d just sprinted some great distance. Why was he out here? Ultimecia would be wanting to move out early tomorrow morning – he’d needed to get some shut-eye.

“My head’s all foggy-like…” Tidus muttered, but it was loud enough for his sorceress to hear. Her lips are scorching and brutal on his own now, bruising and drawing blood as once more, she demanded penance for all his sins.

As he let her judgement take hold of him, Tidus allowed his mind to drift. Her actions were so forceful, but so hollow. At the back of his mind, he knew that it wasn’t like…

Tidus couldn’t remember, now, though the names had been on the tip of his tongue. All he could do was endure, because Ultimecia was his sorceress, his to protect.


End file.
